This post is going to be a little bit off the beaten track to my usual posts, but it’s my blog and in the words of Eric Cartman, “I’ll do what I want”.

Like Gold Dust Slipping Through Your Fingertips

The late Terrence McKenna once described his experiences whilst on the hallucinogen DMT as “Like gold dust slipping through your fingertips”. As if the experiences he was having were laden with information so profound that to be able to remember it all would be extremely valuable. A few years back I suffered from a sleeping disorder known as Hypnagogia, it’s a form of sleep paralysis, at the time I was also suffering from extreme anxiety, it was a weird time for sure. Anyway, one of the main symptoms of Hypnagogia is being almost entirely conscious whilst dreaming, it’s an experience that description alone cannot do justice to. I’ve suffered from it all my life in varying degrees and it wasn’t until a few years ago (when it was at its peak), that I decided to try and find out more about it.

Correction: Apparently it was Joe Rogan that made the quote “Like gold dust slipping through your fingertips”. But I’ll leave in Terrance McKenna in my paragraph above as I can’t find conclusive proof of this, but I will refer to Joe Rogan from here on out.

Now this isn’t proven fact, it’s merely speculation as far as I know. But the same hallucinogen that Joe Rogan was describing above, is also the same hallucinogen that causes these experiences. Yup that’s right, DMT naturally occurs in the body, that little I know is fact, it also occurs in plants and other animals. Dr Rick Strassman, once released a book called DMT - The Spirit Molecule, where he detailed his experiments with administering DMT intravenously to his test subjects, and their experiences that they had whilst under the influence, for approximately 15 minutes at a time. I won’t go into too much detail of the book, I recommend you go and get it and read it for yourself. Anyway, the experiences that his subjects had, sounded so close to some of my hypnagogic experiences that I decided to contact him to ask him for his opinion. He agreed that he thought naturally occurring DMT was the cause of my experiences.

It was great to know that I wasn’t mad, and was able to start just experiencing my hypnagogia as if I was on some kind of trip, in a way, it is. I’ve experienced many weird and wonderful things, some that have completely changed my state of mind, and others that have just immensely confused me and made me question my existence. That leads me on to last nights “dream”.

Nuclear Reactor Under Water

Now, I know I’m quite technically minded but I’m by no means a scientist, or even someone who is particularly skilled at building physical things. I also suck at maths, that’s what computers are for. I sometimes wish I was, as the joy I see some people getting from making things, does tend to make me a little envious. Anyway, so last night I had a hypnagogic experience, one of the first times in a few weeks as it happens and it was quite intense, very realistic. I’ll try and illustrate some parts of it, but you’ll have to forgive my shitty drawing skills, but it will give me a chance to play with my Surface Pro 3 pen.

So it started off with me whitnessing what seemed to be some kind of political feud, some politician was claiming that the country had been put into jeopardy by getting rid of its nuclear deterrents. Now this isn’t really surprising as this sort of shit is actually going on in the news at the moment with Jeremy Corbyn being lambasted for suggesting we should ditch Trident. But that aside, the next thing I knew, I was in a submarine of sorts. It was quite a large room with a huge glass walled area in the middle exposing a huge tank of water which was connected to the ceiling, underneath it, a nuclear reactor. I watched as several long rods were carefully inserted into the reactor, 2 small ones on the side at a 45 degree angle and one long one in the front. Then the reactor was turned on, wow, the sound and feeling of power emanating from this thing shocked me into waking up. I can’t say I’ve ever heard sound like that in a dream before, even during hypnagoia. I’ve experienced amazingly beautiful or even haunting music, but rarely bass like that.

The Submarine Reactor Room

The Submarine Reactor Room: Aside from the picture looking shit, it’s also supposed to look like a tank stretching down from the ceiling of the chamber with a reactor underneath. I’ve drawn red arrows where the parts were inserted into the reactor. Yeah I know the 2 on the side look a little cock-like, lol!

As I woke, I just thought ‘Wow! Cool!’, and then rolled over to go back to sleep again. I was instantly back in the submarine, remember that I am fully conscious during all of this and am well aware that I’m just lying in bed “dreaming”, but that’s what makes it so cool, anyone that’s ever had a lucid dream will say the same, you don’t want it to end. So I’m back in this reactor room, or whatever it was, and this time I saw the reactor being engaged into the tank of water above it, this instantly caused the water to start boiling, at that point I then ended up inside the tank, watching the water being boiled violently before being funneled through a huge rifled tube leading to the end of the submarine, where the water started coming out with immense force. I woke up again, and that was pretty much it. Aside from then lying there wondering how that would work, could you suck in cold water from the front of submarine, boil it in the middle then force it out the back as I saw? I have no idea.

Sinside The Reactor

This is inside of the reactor itself, the red spiral line shows the way the water rifled through the “ejection” tube to the rear of the sub.

Fools Gold

Even though this information felt rather valuable at the time, like I literally felt I was being taught something, being shown in great detail things that are just way out of my realm of knowledge, I’m not sure it ultimately is valuable. As I was then awake at 5:15am with no chance of getting back to sleep I spent the next 45 minutes watching a Discovery documentary on the history of submarines on YouTube. It was certainly very interesting, you can watch it here…

It starts with them talking about the first submarine called “The Turtle”, which was practically a ball that a single man would fit in, with a bomb attached to the back, being manually peddled toward its target. The thing had around 30 minutes of breathable air in it before the occupant would start suffocating, and somehow they would have to travel under water, in practically complete darkness with the exception of a small window at the top of the submarine, to the target, attach the bomb and then get the fuck out of there. Crazy stuff!

The Turtle submarine

Anyway the documentary progresses and what I learnt from it is that a submarine would never be designed in the way I had dreamt as it would cause too much disturbance by boiling water being ejected from the back of the submarine, not very stealthy huh? So yeah, it may seem “Like gold dust slipping through your fingertips”, but only fools gold in this instance.

Madness & Inventors

For a brief moment in my hazy state I thought I had something really cool, for a brief moment I was some kind of mad inventor. Well for a moment at least, but to be fair sometimes things are still meant to be experimented with even if you think you wont get the outcome you want, obviously I’m not talking about going out and trying to make a nuclear submarine, but I think you know what I’m getting at, besides I don’t think B&Q sell uranium do they?